Budget Crisis!

No- I'm not talking about the US Economy, I'm talking about little ole me and my little ole economic state. I've never really been one for budgets. When I was younger (much younger) I used Quicken-- but I found that it just got me into trouble. It gave me a false sense of security. For example, I'd see that I have $50 left in the bank so I'd go to the ATM and take out $40 to live on till the next pay day, allowing a $10 buffer. Then my old AOL account would automatically withdraw $24.95 (or whatever it was). Suddenly I'm stuck with an overdraft charge, fees and penalties and lots of people mad at me. So- I started not balancing my checkbook and just assuming that I'm broke. This didn't really work either but luckily I soon switched to Bank of America which has a great online banking service that keeps things updated almost instantly when I use my debit card. I love Bank of America! (Maybe I can get them to sponsor my blog!) So now I just keep a close eye on my bank account online and take note of the few actual checks I write since they don't appear online instantly. For the last couple years I've had a nice little stipend for my Graduate Research Assistantship and the ability to take out student loans. The loans went for tools like this laptop, supplies, books, food, etc. Things are nice, right? Where's the problem?

I found out recently that I'm not eligible for a summer loan for some reason. This news prompted me to look at my finances. At first glance it looks like I'll be fine since I have some of my Spring semester loan left plus tax refund money, etc in the bank. But I graduate soon-- and that assistantship money is going to stop. True, I'm applying for work after college but there's no guarantee that things are going to work out as I've planned. Yesterday I realized that I've been living in a dreamland. I don't worry about how often I eat out or how much I spend on groceries because that's what the student loan money is for, right? Food is essential, so just eat. WRONG! I sat down and looked at my receipts and found out that I spend about $500 a month on food and groceries- just for myself. That's almost half my stipend. That figure opened my eyes. I sat down and made a spreadsheet of all my expenses, my income and my debt. In doing so I realized that I don't really know how much debt I have. Yes- I'm THAT stupid. So I figured out how to log into my student loan accounts online and found the exact amount of money I owe. I won't publish the number here-- but it was mind boggling.

How can I be this stupid? I LET this happen! Ok ok-- stop and breath. If I had gone to an expensive program my debt could easily have been 4 or 5 times as much-- so I just need to chill out. I'm earning a Masters Degree-- a terminal degree in my field. I'm almost 30. Truth be told I'm not that bad off. I have what is most likely an average to small debt load for where I am in life. I'm ok.

BUT-- I need to change! I need to start looking at how much I spend and on what. I need to knock that food bill down a few notches by cooking more and eating out less. And when I do eat out I should choose cheaper places or order cheaper menu items. I need to seriously regroup here and form a plan of attack. I want to live off my stipend for the next 2 months with some left over. I don't want to touch the money that's in my checking account right now because I'll need all of that to pay for a move and to help me start my life wherever I end up going after graduation. I can do this.